I remember a couple of times when I misinterpreted people's nonverbal cues. I remember one of my superiors would move their body away from me and put down their head whenever I asked them a favor or permission for something. I got the feeling every time I asked this person a question I was wasting their time or they did not care what I had to say. Later on, a couple situations came about that I would normally advise myself to this superior and I didn't because I always seemed to be a nuisance when ever I asked a question. The next day my superior wondered why I didn't come to them when I had to do this task. It turned out that he did listen to me and valued my work. It was just his body language and short answers that threw me off. I began to become more comfortable with their body language and tone and became more open and comfortable around my superior.
To increase one's accuracy in reading people's body language I think it is important to look for consistencies. Sometimes I think we jump to conclusions or look for the obvious body language clues when they do not make up that certain individual. Studying a person over time and reading their consistencies are a good key to becoming accurate in reading nonverbal behavior. In understanding my superior I learned that he acted this way with everyone that came and talked to him. Because I did not study him around different individuals I got lost in my own inaccurate interpretation.
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wow! the situation you described sounds like a difficult professional situation in which to navigate. it's simply wrong to put your head on the table in exasperation when an employee approaches you with pretty much anything. not acceptable. i admire your ability to rise above such inappropriate work behavior and read between the lines as it were. i don't know if i'd have the courage to continue to engage with this supervisor without the intervention of another employee. i would have never picked up on the fact that his person was happy to interact with me and was in fact happy with the work i produced. one would think your supervisor would be self aware enough to know how off putting his body language is and change.
ReplyDeleteHello Chip9! Thanks for sharing this. What an interesting situation you were put in. Did you ever come to understand what your supervisor was doing when he put his head down, or answered you in short sentences? What do you think the motivation was there? Do you think this was just his personality, or do you think there was either a subconscious or conscious effort on his part to convey a message by behaving in such a way?
ReplyDeleteTricky stuff! I would've done the same thing you did, just not ask the next time and keep doing what you were doing. It's discouraging when they put their head down, because it shows that they dont want to hear what you have to say or they're just really tired. The fact that your boss liked your work and didn't ask before the task was a way to enhance your nonverbal skills. They should've at least pretended to listen and encourage you rather then making it seem that it was discouraging. I agree that with consistancy you can get comfortable and accurate with reading nonverbal messages.
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