Week March 29-April 4 #1

I do agree with Ruth Benedict's quote that we are "creatures of our culture" and that our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture. It seems to me that it is our human nature to feel a sense of belonging. Living in any human society or community has cultural norms that we in some forms learn innately. Often we view what is right and wrong in how we interact within our culture. An example of this is when people categorize people who dress in tight fitting clothes and lose baggy clothes. The culture that people grew up in can have a major impact in the way a person wears their clothing.
I feel the most glaring truth that we are "creatures of our culture" is the shaping of our identities. Often you can find people that are Asian that use chopsticks when eating. They know how to use a fork and they might have spend their entire lives in the United States. But, their culture has always used chop sticks because it dates back to their grandparents and their culture.
Our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture in many ways. Religion can be a powerful part of shaping people's beliefs and daily habits. Other examples of our habits shaped by our culture is our government and the media. This is a more wide spread idea but, the items we buy and the cars we drive can be status symbols which is an example of cultural identification.
Breaking from our cultural limitations would require people to allow themselves to become more venerable. I always hear people talk about how other European cultures are more accepting than Americans. It is a part of the European culture for people to travel and explore different societies. To separate ourselves from our cultural norms people must be willing to remove themselves from what is comfortable and try new things. This is a difficult concept for our small clusters of cultures in the U.S. because our motivations can be largely built on making things easier and obtaining luxuries. There would need to be a social change for people to consciously make an effort to exert themselves in new surroundings. I feel our schools can do a better job of putting students in to different cultures and situations. These out of comfort experiences can change people in a more profound way than watching movies and reading textbooks.

Week of March 8-14 #3

One of the more interesting things I encountered in the reading is when the book talks about spacing. In my own life I do not really look into people's body language as much as I like to examine how much space a person takes up. It is funny to watch people when they are confident or like what they talk about and their actions become bigger and take up more space. Some people automatically take up a lot of space when in a group of people or talking to any particular person.
On the other hand there are lots of people who tend to avoid situations and can seclude themselves in a group, room, or in their own body language with the amount of space their body exudes. It seems to be true that in professional settings the head of the table usually has the highest authority. In this position they are given the most space. Everything in our culture represents space. The most expensive seats in entertainment events are the suites or boxes at events. These suites give people the most space while others sit next to each other shoulder to shoulder. First class and coach on plane flights is an another example and I could go on to others.
People and the relationship to the space they occupy and are given are interesting when watching people interact. It is an easy way to examine who is confident or holds the highest rank among the group. It is not a full proof theory sometimes people who receive the most space are excluded from the conversation. It is interesting to watch.

Week of March 8-14 Question 2

In some Arab countries when you show the bottom of your foot to others it is disrespectful. This usually happens when people cross their legs when sitting down and the leg that is crossed on top has the bottom of their shoe showing to the person they are interacting with. I see people in the U.S. sitting in this position frequently and is considered normal and OK. But, this body position of showing the bottom of their shoe is a sign of disrespect in some Arab countries.
I have coached and played sports with a person from Japan and another from Korea and they have had some difficulties adjusting to the interaction in sports. The most notable nonverbal interest came from the interaction between them and their teammates. When people would celebrate or greet each other we would give one another a high five, slap on the back, handshake. fist pound, or even a hug. This contact was uncomfortable for these two guys to get used to. They became very uncomfortable at first with all the touching that goes on in celebrating. As time went on they got used to some of the intricacies that occur during sports. They seemed to like the fist pound. It was limited in the lack of contact they had with other people yet they were still able to fit in with how they interacted with their teammates.

Week of March 8-14 Question 1

I remember a couple of times when I misinterpreted people's nonverbal cues. I remember one of my superiors would move their body away from me and put down their head whenever I asked them a favor or permission for something. I got the feeling every time I asked this person a question I was wasting their time or they did not care what I had to say. Later on, a couple situations came about that I would normally advise myself to this superior and I didn't because I always seemed to be a nuisance when ever I asked a question. The next day my superior wondered why I didn't come to them when I had to do this task. It turned out that he did listen to me and valued my work. It was just his body language and short answers that threw me off. I began to become more comfortable with their body language and tone and became more open and comfortable around my superior.
To increase one's accuracy in reading people's body language I think it is important to look for consistencies. Sometimes I think we jump to conclusions or look for the obvious body language clues when they do not make up that certain individual. Studying a person over time and reading their consistencies are a good key to becoming accurate in reading nonverbal behavior. In understanding my superior I learned that he acted this way with everyone that came and talked to him. Because I did not study him around different individuals I got lost in my own inaccurate interpretation.

Week of March 1-7 Question 3

In this chapter I got a lot out of is improving retention. I thought about how the reading looked at making a conscious effort to tell yourself to stay focused and divert yourself to be focused on what is present. An example would be this very moment as I write about improving retention my mind as and can easily wonder about other homework, what I have going on tomorrow, and my plans for next week.
I liked the advice of the book when they talked about having a clear and purpose in mind upon entering a listening situation. This is very similar to goal setting in our everyday lives. In each instance that is required for myself to understand what I am listening for and what the purpose of this interaction is about then it actually frees up my thoughts and allows myself to get something out of the interaction. My purpose for listening to a speech on budgets for my work requires a different purpose of listening to my friend talk about the Sharks or the A's.
By listening for understanding can free myself from making too many prejudgements while someone is talking. I think our society is an individual and at times selfish society. Most of our life is totally geared toward our own personal benefit. This kind of attitude leaks into our ability to listen. People seem to have a growing problem in thinking about what they are going to say next instead of listening to what the person is saying. An example of this is listening to the rapid fire news shows that happen everyday. People argue without hearing what they even have to say. Active listening and retention could help our interaction a daily basis.

Week of March 1-7 Question #1

I would argue that once we hit a certain age in our lives it is impossible to perceive others without some sort of judgement or categorization. I am not an expert but, I feel when I was about 13 years old I had some form of judgments based on my perceptions of people through experience, TV, media, and reading materials. I think it would be impossible to have a pure 100% nonjudgmental attitude to the people I see. But, this does not mean I have a close mind or I was/am unwilling to have a person or group prove or disprove the little judgments that go through one's mind when listening or observing an individual. In today's society I feel it would be naive of myself to say that person prototypes, constructs, and scripts have not affected a general idea I would have about a person. Whether these judgments be conscious or unconscious.
I feel the best way to make our judgements more fair can come from being media savvy and having an open mind. The media in the news, movies, TV shows, radio, comedians, reading, and advertising exposes us to person prototypes every day if not every five minutes. If a comedian makes a reference to a gender or race, it is doing so to make a funny observation or statement. But, just because a comedian makes a statement doesn't make it true for every circumstance. I try to remember there is an exception to every rule. The same goes for how we judge others. If I constantly walked away from people because of personal constructs I would have never met some of the closest friends in my life or some of my most important professional contacts.

Putting it plainly, keeping an open mind can over come our judgements. I feel it is even more important to accept that we are influenced by outside judgements. We are going to be introduced and influenced by advertisements, media, and our past experiences. It does not always make our judgements right or wrong. But, accepting these judgements help keep an open mind to our preconceived judgments.

Week of March 1-7 Question #2

I do agree that in some areas men and women use language differently. The book talks about rapport talk and report talk. Rapport talk refers to relational meaning and report talk refers task oriented talks. I agree with the book in that women use conversation to build a relationships and mend tend to find a solution or concentrate on completing a task.
In my personal experience I agree with the books findings when comparing subjects talked about by a group of women and subjects talked about by a group of men. When I am surrounded by a majority of women who are conversing the topics tend to focus on family, relationships, and all around gossip. When I am around my friends or a group of males I don't really know when usually find some topic of common ground when we talk about sports and what is in the news.
I believe these differences are social and cultural in how are society expects men and women to act. Yet, it is fun and encouraging to read about what the specific differences are. This was a topic that I can learn from and use in my everyday life.